To Mattie

21 years. I blinked and 21 years passed me right by. How did that happen? When adults would say that kind of thing when I was a kid, I know I rolled my eyes on more than one occasion. So, Mattie and everyone under the age of 30 reading this, go ahead and roll your eyes now. It’s okay. Adults kinda expect it. I know I do. 

Today is Mattie’s day. Today she celebrates 21 trips around the sun. There’s a large chunk of that time that is missing from my memory, and for that, I will be forever sorry. But, let me tell you some of the things I do remember. 

I definitely remember Mattie came into this world yelling at the top of her lungs for the entire first year of her life. Babies cry. As a first time parent, I knew this. No one prepared me for Mattie. I distinctly remember a time during those first couple of months when I had pulled her Pack ‘N Play into the bathroom with me so I could lay her in it and have five minutes to shower. 

She. Did. Nothing. But. Cry. The. Whole. Time. I cried, too. 

What no one realized at that point was that Mattie was tongue tied to the point that she couldn’t stick her tongue out. Like at all. And, so she wasn’t nursing effectively. Mattie’s crying had everything to do with the fact that the poor kid was hungry and a whole lot less to do with her being a difficult baby. We’ll chalk up my missing that point completely during those first few months as a parenting mistake. The first of many. It happens. 

Her pediatrician and I finally figured out what was going on, I started feeding her baby cereal, she gained weight, and all was well. The crying stop and emerged a cheerful, beautiful, smart little girl with the longest hair, big round blue eyes, and a charming smile.

Another memory... When Mattie was a little over a year old, a uniformed City of Springfield policeman showed up at our door. Unbeknownst to me, Mattie had gotten ahold of the cordless phone and called 911. The officer said something along the lines of “I can tell by the look on your face that you’re fine and you didn’t call.”  No, sir. It wasn’t me. It was my 14 month old. Apparently, her fine motor skills were on point. 

Shortly after that, we moved to Canton, and Owen was born. My mom would watch the two of them while I worked. On one particular occasion, Owen was inside napping at our house, and Mattie and my mom were outside looking at the flowers. Mattie saw one of those black, hairy, jumpy spiders, and said, “Look, Grandma! A f*cking spider!” She was 2 1/2.

The week before I had been leaving to run errands with Mattie and Owen in tow buckled in their car seats in the back seat. In my haste, I had taken the mail out of the mailbox, skipped the step of banging it on the side of the mailbox to remove all hairy spiders, dropped it in my lap, only to have one of those little suckers pop out of the stack of mail. I exclaimed, “F*CKING SPIDER!,” immediately realized what I had said and in front of who, and looked in the rear view mirror at Mattie to see if she was going to react. She continued to look through her picture board book and appeared oblivious to the whole situation. Apparently, she was listening. So, I hold the distinct honor of teaching her the f-word. Not Papa Turkey who cussed like a Marine (I mean he WAS a Marine, after all) or a kid on the playground at school. Nope. 100% me. Parenting mistake #2 for anyone keeping track, but there were definitely several others in between.

From the time she was small, my mom and I would walk with Mattie and Owen in their BOB stroller, up and down Canton’s Main Street . Mattie would flip the sun cover back when we met someone on the street, lean forward, wave, and say, “Hi!”as loudly as she could. That friendliness carried over when she went to kindergarten and she’d walk straight up to other children and ask if they’d like to be her friend. Or, the time she got into trouble in elementary school for helping another child pick up the pieces of paper he had strung all over the floor. Mattie has always been the kid you wanted to have in your corner.

Like any child, there were some hiccups along the way... some kids who weren’t very nice as kids can be. When she was in 6th grade, her school counselor called me and said there was an issue with some girls bullying Mattie. She said that she had called Mattie into the office to talk to her about it and she had asked Mattie what she thought about the situation. Mattie told her that if they continued to bully her that she would get new friends. It’s that kind of inner strength that Mattie exhibits that amazes me daily. 

It’s also amazed a few others along the way. Like the time that she confronted a hockey player from the opposing Chicago team who had delivered a couple of big hits on Owen. He came strutting out of his team's locker room only to have Mattie walk right up to him with her chin in the air, fists balled at her side, and tell him exactly what she thought about those dirty hits. He was speechless. That was a whole different kind of inner strength, but inner strength, nonetheless.

Or the father who was screaming obscene names at Owen during a different game. Mattie marched right up to him and gave him a piece of her mind. I turned to the dad I was talking to at that time, and said, “I’m just going to let her handle this.” He responded, “I would. Looks like she’s got it under control.” She did. That man didn’t utter one more word in Owen’s direction the rest of the game. 

And, that’s completely Mattie. The first defender of her brothers coupled with the little girl who decided she’d find new friends if the old ones didn’t work out.

When I think back over the last 21 years and all we’ve been through, I realize one very important thing. My girl is resilient. She perseveres. She is still 100% that little girl who walked straight up to other kindergarteners and asked if they wanted to be her friend. But, she pulls no punches and she will not back down if the situation calls for that. She defends and she supports, especially the people she loves most. She is sugar AND she is spice all rolled up into one beautiful, fierce package. 

So, today, on her 21st birthday, I would like to wish my baby girl, Mattie Alexandra, a very happy birthday. I love you more than I could ever begin to say and I’m more proud of you than you’ll ever realize. I hope you continue to reach for the biggest stars and remember that no one can stop you when you put your mind to it.

I love you so very much, Mattie. Happy birthday!